Total Recall

Memory can be a very powerful thing, especially memory of days that were more than a little challenging. My strongest recollections of travel, for instance, are from awful, long days on trains in India, terrifying trips atop buses through the high Nepal Himalaya, a flight with Sam to Rome that almost turned us off travel forever and one particular evening in Prague.

It was Jenny’s 30^th birthday and to celebrate the occasion I had taken her out to what seemed a lovely restaurant in the centre of the Czech capital. At the end of quite a revolting meal - welcome to Czech cuisine! - the staff (who were already angry at us for making them replace a foul bottle of corked wine) informed me that they did not accept card payment. I had no cash, so had to run outside to find an ATM. I couldn’t find one that worked. Then a policeman told me he knew where I could get some cash and recommended that I follow him, then ran off. Thirty minutes later, when he discovered I was still on his tail, he asked why I was chasing him. It was then that I realised he was a madman dressed in a policeman’s outfit, including a toy gun. And I was very lost.

When I made it back to the restaurant 90 minutes later, sweating profusely despite the sub-zero temperatures, I found a very lonely and vulnerable 30-year-old Jenny. It struck me that I’d never seen her looking more beautiful than she was in that terrible place, completely alone, unable to leave but unsure of whether I’d ever return. I’ve never felt so stupid or so awful before or since, but the entire experience made her 30^th one that we’d never forget.

Today memory played its part in almost having us killed several times. We hired a car, you see. As I drove it out of the car park at Union Station in Washington D.C. I said to myself, over and over, ‘Drive on the right. Drive on the right.’ Of course, as soon as the lights turned green I drove out onto the left-hand side of the road, directly into the path of three lanes of oncoming traffic. But like a fat, hairy James Bond I crunched the gearbox into reverse and burnt rubber backwards, until we were on the correct side, shaken not stirred.

Una-Bomber caught a little shut-eye between blasts

During today’s eight-hour drive I often found myself drifting across lanes, my mind telling me that I should physically be on the right-hand side of the lane (as I would be in a right-hand drive vehicle) until Jenny screamed, ‘We’re about to hit the wall / Hummer / bus / Starbucks cafe…’, then I’d swerve back to the correct side. It was bizarre and frightening, and I hope my memory will stop playing such tricks on me during the many miles we’ll be covering over the next seven days.

Chubby cheeks has a bubby sleep

Today we travelled through the states of D.C., Maryland, Delaware, Pennsylvania, New Jersey and finally New York to arrive in the very lovely town of Hyde Park – yes, ‘Hyde Park on Hudson’. The first half of the seven-hour journey was on very busy, very ugly motorways. Then as we entered the Catskills the route became more picturesque and it was suddenly very obvious why New York City residents enjoy taking a break in their charming back yard.

We’re here in Hyde Park because it was the home town of the Roosevelts – Franklin and Eleanor. Tomorrow we’ll be visiting their houses and taking tours of their properties in order to further research my still-gorgeous wife’s second novel. In doing so we’ll be dipping into somebody else’s memories, and what a relief that’ll be!

The excitement of arriving at our destination was too much for some...