Chris’s World Records

So here’s a bit of a poor excuse for a blog, a list of bests and worsts and other superlatives, fitting as a blog topic only because the trip, now half over, had as its original purpose a series of meetings with Guinness World Records. But nevertheless it’s just as annoying as one of those episodes of Seinfeld that is filled with flashbacks.

BEST THING IN OUR BACKPACKS
This one is a bit of a surprise. Jen and I are ‘experience’ people, not ‘technology’ people. We prefer real life memories as opposed to RAM memory. In fact, we think most technology – like expensive cars and wide-screen TVs and iPhones etc – ultimately makes people feel bad about themselves as it is so quickly out of date. Wonderful experiences, on the other hand, only become more valuable with age as the memories and learnings are constantly re-used, re-lived, utilised and discussed.

Anyway, enough philosophy. I annoy the hell out of my brothers with this argument every time we try to come up with a gift idea for our parents. So they will laugh when they hear that the winner is our netbook, a lovely little Toshiba NB305 that not only allows us to blog and check the weather reports etc, but also provides us with great jazz music over dinner, allows us to check out and back-up our photos each evening, gives us the opportunity to work on our next book and offers us many half-hours of sanity as Sam watches his films and TV shows. Best $500 we’ve ever spent.

BEST 16 EUROS WE’VE EVER SPENT
A bottle of Jack and a commemorative metal container. Enough said.

BEST CLOTHING IN OUR BACKPACKS
Our Gore-Tex jackets from The North Face. Not only do they laugh in the sad, sodden face of rainy days, allowing us to get out and about in any weather, but when paired with our Keen waterproof walking shoes they also stop us from looking like Australian tourists. Instead we look like Australian tourists disguised as German mountain climbers, which is so much more chic.

 

BEST PICTURE OF A HORSE’S ARSE
I don’t mean Sam, I mean the actual horse’s arse … this is taken on the carousel in Piazza Navona. Pick a night, any night.

WORST KITCHEN ITEM
We were fascinated by this when we first moved in – a built-in dish squirter. It’s for people who really want an item in their kitchen that is, in the real world, only ever operated by illegal immigrants who are being paid a quarter of the award wage. Or you could use an electric dishwasher…

FIRST PHOTO BY SAM
Okay, so I know a ‘first’ cannot be a record as it is, by its very nature, unbreakable. But this is the first ever photo that Sam took completely on his own, which is pretty exciting. It’s even a tiny bit abstract.

SECOND PHOTO BY SAM
He’s a fast learner. And just four years old…

FASTEST 100 METRES
Performed in Piazza Del Popolo, this classic record was achieved in a time of 42.13 seconds.

BEST XMAS TREE
It’s unusual and completely non-traditional, but we love it. We found it in a piazza today, very close to one of our favourite cake shops.

AND SPEAKING OF CAKE SHOPS … BEST CAKE SHOP
Oh yummy, a walk worth doing every afternoon. And we do.